I'm at the point where I simply exist. I am stuck in my own head and it's not a pleasant place to be. I have so many questions, so many what ifs. I need to accept the fact that what I want simply isn't going to happen. I've tried to get my message across but it seems it's falling on deaf ears. I can do no more. I have no fight left in me. The days all blur into one. I have no purpose. No meaning. Just emptiness. I wake up every morning and can't help but cry. The pain is horrendous. I can be going about my day and it hits me, catches me off guard and I'm brought to my knees consumed in grief. To the point where I can't breath. I cannot see an escape to this. There is nothing that can make the pain go away. The only joy I have is seeing that others are having good things happen in their life as result of this. If me being in daily turmoil means the people important to me do well then it's a small price to pay.
To finish off I'm going off grid for a while. I won't be accessing my blog or anyone else's. Nor will I be accessing social media or listening to any theories sent my way. I am choosing to shut myself away from the world to try my best to heal. Be warned it will most likely take a very very long time if at all.
Over and out....
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